From “Happy Fuck You Songs”
Written by: Tonedeff, Substantial, Session & PackFM
Produced by: Deacon The Villain
©2002 QN5 Music (ASCAP)

Chorus
Can You Hear Me Now? Good.

V1
(tonedeff)Tonedeff:
yo, It’s Sunday afternoon, and I’ve been hibernating thoroughly/
Lying beside my girl who’s been trying to wake me urgently/
With a stern sermon about wasting my day/
Knowing that if I don’t force me outta bed with a crowbar I’ll lazily stay/
I wake up… kinda sorta… today’s when the guys come over/
To write, so I head out to get some pizza and buy us soda/
Wireless phone to my ear, giving session a buzz/
“Yo, Sesh, it’s Tone, you want anything? I’m buying us grub”

(session)Session:
What?! you lyin in blood? (tonedeff)Tonedeff: “yeah, and call Pack to wake him up”
(session)Session: Yo, you breakin up! STAN! They tryin to take his stuff!
(substantial)Substantial: Word? then I got bones to crack, (session)Session: Lets split up,
you bring Tone intact. I’ma get up, on the phone wit Pack,
[Dialing…] (packfm)PackFM’s voicemail “Its Pack, leave a message”
(session)Session: “I cant believe this, pick up!, its me, its Session!,
Tone got robbed and we tryin to reach you man,
hit me back on the hip or speak to Stan!”

(packfm)PackFM: Tones got cracked ribs from gettin beat by Stan???
I knew one day, these egos would get outta hand/
Looks like me and sesh are the only ones with level heads/
Fuck it lemme call stan and see if we can settle this [dialing sound in background]
(substantial)Substantial (FRANTIC VOICE) “hello?!!?” (packfm)PackFM: Stan, you alright? What’s up with you and Tone?”
(substantial)Substantial (pissed) “Yo, pack u mumblin again!? Son, you need to get a better phone/”
(packfm)PackFM: Yeah, i know you hate Tone, Session left me a message explainin’/
(substantial)Substantial (MORE FRANTIC): “WHAT! session got hit by a train???????”
[Substantial hangs up]

Jesus H Christ man I was just with’em/
(crying) I figured he’d OD…who would think a train kill’em/
What a horrible way to go! Just think/
He just moved away from home. Rest in peace/
Yo, I’ve gotta save Tone we ain’t loosing him too/
(Gets angry) I’m puting foot in somebody ass until they shit shoe/
For trying to stick crew [phone rings] Hello! (tonedeff)Tonedeff: “Ayo, Stan, it’s Tone”/
(substantial)Substantial: Since when do muggers stop to let you use the phone!!!

Chorus

V2
[Substantial and Tonedeff are still talking]
(tonedeff)Tonedeff: Muggers? Stan…What the fuck you yappin about?
I’m buying food, for when you, sesh & pack are back at the house/
You’re spazzing out, I’m laughing now, didn’t expect what you said/
Especially that. (substantial)Substantial: “Well, Aight, Cool…but session is dead”/
(tonedeff)Tonedeff: True…You want the freshest bread? White or wheat?
(substantial)Substantial: “Why you speaking ‘bout bread? I said that Session Died! Deceased!”
(tonedeff)Tonedeff: Well, I must be a monkey’s uncle, fuck recording…I’m just beat/
(substantial)Substantial: “Huh? Tone, you’re whylin, b” (tonedeff)Tonedeff: “Aight, I’ll see ya by the beach”/
(substantial)Substantial: “Hello?” (tonedeff)Tonedeff: Hello? Ahh fuck it…phone dropped, I’ll try to reach/
Session to tell him where to find the jeep, so we can ride to the scene/
[Ring] (session)Session: “Yeah, whuttup?” (tonedeff)Tonedeff: Ayo, Sesh, what time should we meet?
(session)Session: “Tone, you’re still alive! I figured by now, you’d died in the street!”
Yo, Stan is looking for you man, you told me your were getting jacked!”
(tonedeff)Tonedeff: Jacked? Nah, man, I’m headed to the beach to rest & relax.

(session)Session: You’re headed for Pack’s? He needs to start picking his phone up!
(tonedeff)Tonedeff: “No, man, no weed to spark, and I’m not getting coronas”/
(session)Session: “Word? Somebody hot?! Sweating to bone us? Who are these groupie hoes?/
(tonedeff)Tonedeff: “Yeah, yeah, there’s no more studio.”/
(session)Session: Oh, hell no!..I will not blow no bootyhole/
I don’t care if they’re porno movie pros..What did you agree for?
(tonedeff)Tonedeff: “Man, you’re breaking up, Meet me by the seashore” [click]
(session)Session: Oh, shit…Stan’s gotta hear this! Tone’s talkin bout ‘He-whores’?

Chorus

V3
[Session calls Substantial. Phone rings and he picks up]
(substantial)Substantial: Hello? (session)Session: “Wuttup, dog!” (substantial)Substantial (in shock): I must be fucking dreaming/
(session)Session: First, Tone with the He-whores…now you’re sucking semen?
T.M.I. homo (substantial)Substantial: I thought you died mofo
Well, That’s what Pack told me but I’m glad you’re back homie/
So you talked to tone too… when we spoke he was bugging/
By the way that shit earlier it was nothing/
(session)Session: “Hold on, son, I just caught what you said… you thought I was dead?!/
(substantial)Substantial: Yo, You’re really about to grow dreads & copping a lex…Sweet!!!
(session)Session: “HUH Did you just say beach???”
(substantial)Substantial: Almost forgot…that’s where we’re supposed to meet/
(session)Session: “Yo that sounds a lot better than the meat fest at Tone’s/
Yo, that type of shit made me head home” (substantial)Substantial: Yeah forget that/
So let me hit Pack (session)Session: “Son you shouldn’t sniff crack!? ”
(substantial)Substantial: Well, If not me, who? Son, see ya round 2! [Substantial hangs up]

[Substantial calls PackFM]

(substantial)Substantial: Hello?
(packfm)PackFM: Stan, you hung up…you got a bad attitude!
(substantial)Substantial: You had me thinkin session died, nigga…now i’m mad at you
(packfm)PackFM: What you mean, the session’s 5? Tone said to meet him after 2…
By the wassup wit u? u guys settle ya beef?/
(substantial)Substantial: “NO PACK! SESSION’S NOT LAYING DEAD IN THE STREETS!/
Matter of fact we all meetin up and heading to the beach/
(packfm)PackFM: Yo, chill! Watch ya speech man! Who you callin a bitch?/
I’m a grown ass man… i aint gotta take this shit/
(substantial)Substantial: “WHAT YOU TAKIN A SHIT???” (packfm)PackFM: Oh, you gonna BREAK MY WRIST? Dog, you need to slow ya roll…/
Are you still pissed about the girl from ‘Upclose and Personal’?
(substantial)Substantial: “Nah, we goin to the beach not the studio, but we can rehearse for the show”/
(packfm)PackFM: Look this reception sucks, I can’t hear a word you’re sayin/
I’m on my way to Tone’s house… and I’ll call u on the way in/
(substantial)Substantial: “Yeah pack, you kinda do look like marlon wayans/
But my minutes ain’t cheap, dog. I’ll see u at the beach”/
(packfm)PackFM: “Uh ok yeah the beach, man, whatever you say/
Lemme, get off this phone and tell Tone that i’m on my way/

[ring] (tonedeff)Tonedeff: Hello? (packfm)PackFM: “Tone?! What deal, kid?/
Yo, I just spoke to Stan, He throwing hands at you? That’s some real shit/
I never knew you two was beefin…” (tonedeff)Tonedeff: We are? (packfm)PackFM: “I don’t believe this? Son, you got amnesia!”
(tonedeff)Tonedeff: I do? (packfm)PackFM: “Holy Mary Mother of Jesus!”/
(tonedeff)Tonedeff: Pack, you’re buggin! Stan told me bout this beach trip/
(packfm)PackFM: “Ski Trip?” (tonedeff)Tonedeff: Nah, Beach Trip. (packfm)PackFM: “Aight, that sounds decent/
I was headed to your crib, so let’s see where the team is”/
(tonedeff)Tonedeff: Ayo, but don’t hang up! (packfm)PackFM: “Nah, I’ma use the 3-Way genius”/
(tonedeff)Tonedeff: Oh yeah, I forgot…you work with Celly’s – Not beepers/
But hurry the fuck up…I’m trying to stick some hot beaver!
[ring] (substantial)Substantial: Yo… (packfm)PackFM: “You two, play nice y’all/
(tonedeff)Tonedeff & (substantial)Substantial: “Huh?” (packfm)PackFM: And hold on as I call session…I’m trying to hit the beach by nightfall/
[ring] (jimmy)Jimmy: “Hello?” (packfm)PackFM: “Yo, Who the fuck is this?”
(jimmy)Jimmy: This is Jimmy! (packfm)PackFM: “Wrong number, man, sorry. (jimmy)Jimmy: “Fuck You Bitch” [CLICK]
[ring] (session)Session: “Jeeeuh!” (packfm)PackFM: “Yo, Session! Where the fuck you at?”
(session)Session: “I never said ‘fuck you’ pack!
(tonedeff)Tonedeff: What’s up with that?! I thought y’all loved that track!
If y’all didn’t like it, there ain’t no need to make excuses/
And try to be nice to me and cancel studio with crew trips/
(substantial)Substantial: “Tone, what the fuck! Why you trippin?” (packfm)PackFM: “Oh, shit Stan is mad at Tone again! CHILL STAN!! Don’t hit em!”/
(session)Session: Faggots! Now, stan’s trying to get with him? That’s FOSS!”
Hold Up, I got a call, and I’m getting the fuck off/
(substantial)Substantial: Fuck y’all! This ain’t phone sex, I’m hangin up. (packfm)PackFM: “Say What…Tone’s Flesh!? And Paper Cuts!!
Stan! Don’t kill him!” (tonedeff)Tonedeff: Awww Man, I’m going home..I am confused as hell/ [CLICK], [CLICK]
(packfm)PackFM: “Fuck it”. [CLICK] (session)Session: YO! I’m back with some news to tell!

[dial tone]

(session)Session: Hello? Hello. That was the A&R on the other line, son! They wanna sign us! Hello? Hello? Hello? Man, fuck that… I’m goin solo!