from Archetype by Tonedeff

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From “Archetype”
Written by: Tonedeff
Produced by: Tonedeff
©2005 QN5 Music (ASCAP)

Knowing if I could give you the sky and also the sea
But I don’t think there’s one thing in this world that’ll make you notice me/
Cause you can wield that sword in any direction, you damn well please
But you don’t understand, that my heart is in your hands
And I’m beggin you not to squeeze.

V1 (16)
I was ruined in the 7th grade, the pain never changed or went away/
The memory’s ingrained like it was yesterday/
They’re telling me I’m crazed, because I’ve blessed her name/
A steady gaze to sweat her frame, If life is just a play, then she was center stage/
I sent her letter pages on a daily basis/
That her friend’s trashed in waste bins – So, if she asks there’s no way to trace this/
She was the reigning queen of junior high and I was faceless/
Painted bangs and bracelets, and even looked graceful in plated braces/
I hate to say this but my aim was wasted/
So, I trained my heart for 7 years while she remained in basics/
Leading the same parade of babes to places/
Swearing I held a space in her heart, yet every semester she’d vainly replace it/
Yet, I waited and displayed my patience/
Even offered statements of positive advice in her cases of shakey situations/
But she never associated me with hip relations/
With bated breath, I withstood the breakage.
Like porcelain.

V2 (24)
With my hormones racing, praying a for a date on summer vacation/
Around the time when your body is under renovation/
You know when nothing really fits?
And the girls get bolder, and start looking for older affiliates/
I hold a silly wish in my mind that she’d willingly kiss these/
lips, but I won’t get Frisky, I get the feeling she’d diss me/
I’m still in a risky position – itching to hit a decision
To muster up the ambition to make the proposition/
Desperation became my religion/
The same way you envision cynics finding jesus caged in a prison/
Visiting hours consisted of English Lit & Diction/
History quizzes on Christians to Mr. Richard Nixon/
Transfixed in her smile like the other fifty guys
She hypnotized, Guess I’m another stickler for pretty eyes/
I minimized my obsession, never made the confession/
Even evaded her presence at our graduation procession/
It was a decision I later regretted/
Wondering what I could have said and would it have swept her away if I said it/
Step and Repeat and edit – my thoughts clashed/
But I regained my lost chance the very day that we crossed paths again/
I revelled in the opportunity, asked her to go dancing/
Basking in this confidence that was new to me/
And it worked beautifully! A wild night became a quiet ride home/
As I broke the silence her eyes roamed/
7 years of frustration then hit her ears with abrasion/
As I laced her with my tale of lust, tears and anticipation/
Her reaction was a face of fakeness/
Told me she was flattered, but within a tone lacking any amazement/
It seemed she’d heard it all before/
I realized then, her popularity is what I wanted her for/
I tried to be strong as she hopped out the door/
But even the hardest hearts break when they’re dropped to the floor.
Like Porcelain.

Days pass and time goes on and on,
But, you might think my skin was strong enough
But there’s something you don’t understand
I’m porcelain. I’m porcelain.

Cause in the end…
We’re all just little kids with scarred hearts
From little kids who think they’re bigger than they really are.

Just little boys with scarred hearts
From little girls who think they’re older than they really are

Just little girls with scarred hearts
From little boys who think they’re bolder than they really are

Just little kids with scarred hearts
From other little kids.


from Archetype, released April 5, 2005
Written & Produced By: Tonedeff for QN5 Music (ASCAP)


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QN5 New York, New York

QN5 Music is an independent hip hop collective based in NYC. Home to Tonedeff, CunninLynguists, PackFM, Substantial & Kokayi.

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