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The Evil That Pens Do

from Happy F​*​ck You Songs by Extended Famm

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From “Happy Fuck You Songs”
Written by: Tonedeff, Substantial, Session & PackFM
Produced by: Tonedeff
©2002 QN5 Music (ASCAP)

It’s The Evil That Pens Do, we can’t help it/
Over instrumentals, you get dealt with/
Got you nodding your head, until your neck breaks/
We’re professionals, do what you do best, and spectate.

Now, who gets nasty like this on a regular basis/
Spent more time with a permanent pen than I ever did with erasers/
I’m making these lame disgraces beg Eddie Murphy to trade their places/
Curse their managers in church and disgrace their agents/
Displaying the flagrant anger in me, in its raging stages/
It’s plainly outrageous… these cats is buggin like aphids/
Been waiting to spray this in any face to face engagement/
I be coming off of the cuff, leaving your girl with a pearl bracelet/
I’m firm and invasive. You diss, the response is abrasive/
I will warp your fuckin’ mind, like Hunter Thompson in Vegas/
And won’t be stopping for ages. Kid, you’re merit is gainless/
The numbers speak for themselves just like alphanumeric pages/
Im out to replace the haste and poor taste that restrain us/
With more signature lines in masterpieces than famous painters/
You couldn’t cut it close with a sheen tracer/
When nobody’s watching, I’ll take over your set like a screen saver/
Please see to your behavior. Tonedeff is ominous/
Tearing out your heart just like bitches with broken promises/
Honest. My rhymes will keep you in astonishment/
(With) so many lines, I got geometrists with doctorates with postulates/
But I’m on top of it, send em back to the lab/
Kids be kickin’ battle raps about the skills they don’t actually have/
So, I tactfully, polysyllabically, drastically stab em/
With more lines than the amount of times that Ive been asked to collab/
With this masterful plan, put your balls in a sling/
A Constant winner in the summer, even make comp fall in the spring/
It’s all in a blink, cause I be visionary/
These are definitive times, yo, I hope you got your watch and dictionary.

Yall cliché like old sayings role playing like thesbians/
You vagina fronting hard like a butch lesbian/
You thought that we was done this is where the test begins/
You feminine like estrogen riding the style like equestrians/
This specimens invisible like ice cream trucks in winter/
Contenders we get up in ya leave pussy straight tender/
I’m warning ya suckers stay away if you’re phonier/
Than Milli Vanilli rocking a cubic Zerconia/
No job rapper mooching off your mom rapper/
Don’t write lyrics you bite lyrics hard rapper/
Battling to see who’s wacker come back record rappers/
Ending every line with the same word rappers/
Sound familiar never should you familia/
You rap clowns could give me pat downs I wouldn’t feel ya/
Vicious is my behavior you’re hoping your man saves ya/
‘Cause I bring pain like wiping your ass with sand paper/
Underground like a hermit as close as you come to perfect/
Lyrically licensed to kill nigga you need a learner’s permit/
Simpleton I injure men from Washington to Michigan/
Losers couldn’t be like if our names were synonyms/
Ill enough to get a quotable for my chorus/
‘Cause this my world and you faggots are just tourists/
Meanwhile piranhas bite my whole style verbatim/
But them niggaz ain’t me that’s exactly why I hate them


With fantastic tactics you get your ass kicked /
when I back flip and land heels first on your back, kid /
voice wrapped in plastic, when I spit it, explosive /
acidic, erosive, you get it in doses /
battles? I’ll have you shootin at me after /
charge my brain when I connect my nerves to nuclear reactors /
who can I be after, precisly laser guided /
I catch burn on joints like arthritis when I write it /
gettin excited, ya scared, grabs your guns tight /
when I coughed, the sky divided, light blinded, GOD yelled guzuntight /
I’ll turn the market, wit hails of tunes /
learn your target and trail wit goons, burn your carcass inhale the fumes /
I bring heat in battle, what you come up wit is dull /
I’ll drop your water percentage, vapors comin up from your skull /
I’ll heat the toast, and beat on most /
I slay you dead on the spot and speak to ghosts, defeatin most with preachin notes /
I spit bricks and lift tenements, grab mics rip an event /
hip hops fifth element /
I hurt clowns, I dont push up I push the earth down /
go the full nine yards and still get the first down /
on one play have bums layed when my tongue spray /
and you cant come back like gettin stuck on a one way /
your lungs cave everytime you try and rip tracks /
you suck so much your throat muscles get snapped when you spit raps /
so get back, you gettin fucked for the last time like I dead slut /
wit the size of my ego I’ll hit the world wit a headbutt /
step up, I got Tone, Stan, and Pack FM /
while your rhymes is so pussy ya faggots attractin men!

Its the Evils That Pen’s Do, Ya rhymes will be used against you//
With the mic as my untensil, I write rhymes monumental/
If I offend you, I meant to. When I’m on an instumental/
It’s just so sentimental, Takin you back like a rental/
Flippin scripts Like gymnastic actors, who practice back flips/
On pissy mattresses, Knock worlds swallowed by galactus off axis/
Cats want to be as nice as Pack is, but they dont practice/
You’re just a wack bitch, You aint suptising me/
You’re over rated, like Barney parental advisoy/
So why are these kids tryna be grimey and greasy/
I’ll fuck with you head, Not even eggs get over easy/
These niggas be actin sleezy, gettin up in my face/
Girls try to touch me and tease me, I dealt with the case/
You waste time, I lace rhymes with dopeness/
For the MC’s that quote this, I triple the dosage, call me the mic doc/
Might rock the spot like after shocks/
For niggas who been rhymin’ twice as long, and still dont have half the props/
You have to stop…Your paragraphs make me laugh/
Your whole crew cant even fuck with my faculty and staff/
Send a memo to the seargant, tell him fire up the squadrant/
Got these garbage niggas chargin, sayin they’e butter when they’re margerin/
But they melt either way/
I be the P the A C the K, See the way i flow is out of the norm/
Schoolin’ kids like a college, You’ll get housed like a dorm//
With a ratio of shady hoes, We got the crazy flow/
With a Substantial amount of Sessions at Deff Radio
(It’s Like That Bitch!)



from Happy F​*​ck You Songs, released November 26, 2002
Produced By: Tonedeff for QN5 Music (ASCAP)


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QN5 New York, New York

QN5 Music is an independent hip hop collective based in NYC. Home to Tonedeff, CunninLynguists, PackFM, Substantial & Kokayi.

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